The Flying Stork

Another sleepless night. I can't sleep thinking why I haven't been bless with children. I have been wondering what went wrong. I mean. its been 9 months trying. Is that enough?
I wanted to try everything that I can think of just to get pregnant. Part of me, envy those who are blessed with good news especially those married in the same year as I did. Part of me, doubt myself if i am ready to have my own. Truthfully, I am not financially ready, but i know emotionally I am. Heck! Those knocked up couples; well they managed to provide food on the table. My dilemma is; I love looking at kids running around in the mall, babies crying endlessly at night, kids nagging the moms for toys. Sometimes, I hate going to the places where i could see all these. I was trying to avoid looking at something that I crave to have myself.
I was emotionally angry at my husband and trying to find a solace place in my mind that everything is going to be fine. So, in the end, I have come up with a schedule to keep myself busy. What else to keep a woman busy; house chores, keeping fit, gardening, cooking, washing, reading and watching tv / online surfing. But, will this be enough? I realized that I have so much time now to do basically whatever I want to do. Go to honeymoon, visit places I haven't gone to, buy stuff that I always wanted, take dancing, yoga, make up classes. When the time is right, is right. I hope it does.
So i was determine to do all of these before I regret having lots of time for myself.